It happened again, and had been doing so well. Last night was a pretty rough night for me, I didn’t sleep very well, I was having what I am now going to refer to as Keira withdrawal. My flatmate returned from his visit home yesterday afternoon, which mean Keira had to get put back in the wardrobe. Which in itself is always something that makes me feel a bit shitty, I really do hate having to take off my nice clothes and makeup.
Anyway so I couldn’t really sleep last night or get back to sleep after a dream I had. The dream wasn’t even that great, it was basically just me hanging out with a bunch of girls, I was Keira in the dream. I knew the girls I were hanging out with knew I was transgender, even thought they never said anything or cared. In the dream it was me that it bothered because I knew they knew I wasn’t a real girl. Anywho that was the dream and I woke up after it feeling pretty shitty and strangely missing my bra, I missed having my fake breasts on. It feels weird to say, but I just missed having them there, they’re strangely comforting for me. I very nearly got out of bed at one point so I could put them on. Just so I’d be able to sleep in them. I thought it might make me feel better.
This has been the first time in ages I’ve felt like this. I guess it was to be expected after getting to spend the last four days as Keira, I guess it will always be difficult going back to “normal” life.
So, just a short post today detailing my (mostly) sleepless night.