Today is the day of the Scottish Referendum (Vote Yes); it is also the day that I was supposed to have my first psychologist appointment, but I didn’t. I’ve expressed in pervious posts that I was considering cancelling the appointment, I guess due to fear, but fear not, this isn’t what happened. About two weeks ago I received a letter informing me that the appointment date had been changed from today to October 10th. At the time I was mildly disappointed by this, but on reflection it has actually worked out quite well. As I’ve said and as I’m sure you know today is the day of the Scottish Referendum in is also the day where I do a bit of work for a local online TV Channel, so needless to say I’m quite busy.
When I first got the appointment it seemed so far away, like some distant thing I didn’t need to worry about, much like the Scottish Referendum. Both sort of snuck up on me. On the plus side I’m no longer considering cancelling it and my nervousness about it has disappeared for now (I’m sure it’ll make a come back closer to the time). While I still haven’t decided if this transitioning is something I want to do, I am looking forward to getting professional advice and perhaps even some answers. They may also be able to help with my periods of recurring depression. Perhaps it’s linked to my transgender nature? Who knows? Though my gut tells me that my periods of depression are something I’m going to have to fight for the rest of my life regardless of transitions or not. Which if I’m honest kinda sucks, it’s very emotionally draining having to fight your own shitty thoughts.
Anywho that’s all for now. I’ll update again soon, maybe at the weekend. I should have the flat to myself Saturday and Sunday and I’m very tempted to buy my first dress.