Trans Challenge: Day 11

Q: How do you manage dysphoria?

A: I don’t think I’ve ever properly felt dysphoria, sure there are things about my body I don’t like, for example my ears are too big and my feet are quite ugly, but I never associated this with being in the wrong body. I mean after all doesn’t everyone have things they don’t like about their body? Things they wish they could change?

One interesting thing I’ve noticed since I’ve started exploring my gender identity and something that could fall under the definition of dysphoria is that I’ve started to get annoyed by my penis, it’s been getting in the way. You know ruining the look of clothes and so on, and I’m pretty sucky at tucking, I find in a bit of a burden having to do it. In the past female friends of mine have commented on how they thing penis’ are ugly, before I never really gave it much thought. Lately I have to say I agree with them, I’m find my own penis more and more ugly and I’m sort of beginning to wish it wasn’t there.

I’m also quite bothered by my jawline, It’s quite big and masculine, I think it’s going to being one of my bigger give always if I ever do begin living as a girl.

As far as handling them, I haven’t really had to; my negative feelings towards them haven’t been so strong as to cause any real problems for me.

 

The fact that I’ve never really felt a sense of real dysphoria is one of the reason I doubt if I’m really transsexual.

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2 thoughts on “Trans Challenge: Day 11

  1. Pingback: 30 Day Trans Challenge | Call Me Keira

  2. A: hmmm, that’s a tough one .. basically i deal with it, rather than hating it, i choose to find solutions that would word for me .. So I’ll answer it one part at a time ..
    My feet, quite large (size 40), i would let my toe nails grow, and have some really nice nail polish for them .. I file them, take care of them, i always wear my high heels at home (7~12cm high), considering all this now they look pretty feminine ..
    My legs, i used to shave regularly (every two days) until i bought my IPL 6000F device (which is very cool by the way), combined with HRT my body hair growth has been decreased dramatically ..
    My male gear, i kindda got used to tucking, now i do it almost 24/7, with no much effort, combined with HRT (making my testies smaller) tucking is much easier ..
    My hips, thighs, i’m gaining weight and fats now (with me being 170cm tall, and 50Kg weight, that won’t give much a female shape) so by gaining fats, and with effect of HRT, fats seem to be going in the right places .. yaaaay
    My belly and chest hair, by the effect of HRT, they’re starting to fall off ..
    My rib-cage, is looking a bit boney, i believe corset training would do the trick ..
    My hands, they also look too boney and muscular, so I keep my nails filed, take good care of my hands, and will let HRT do the rest of the magic ..
    My face, the biggest problem i’m having; i have really big nose, which i always hated, and quite a wide forehead, the nose will certainly require FFS, my forehead can be dealt with by proper hair cut, which i’m exploring my options now ..
    My hair, i always loved my straight soft black hair, and i believe along with my legs and arms would be my best assets as a woman, so I’m taking good care of it ..

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