Q: Have you ever been outed?
A: Short version, no, but I have came close on several occasions to getting caught wearing girls clothes. The first happened when I was 13 years old. I had spent the weekend at my Dad’s house, where he is happily married with two children (my brother & sister). When I go to visit, I stay in the spare bedroom, and my dad’s wife keeps some of her old clothes and shoes in there. I (and I’m not proud of this) stole a pair of wide heeled ankle boots to take home with me. That Sunday night I went to bed with them on (I wanted to sleep with them on, I’m not sure why. Maybe I wanted to fall asleep feeling like a girl). The next day while at school I hid them under my quilt, when I got home I found out that my mum had gone in to my room to make my bed (something she never normally did) and discovered them. I’m sure this won’t come as much of a surprise to anyone, but instead of telling the truth, I lied. I blamed it on my little brother and sister, saying that they liked to put things in my suitcase. No one believed me, but they went along with it. Incidentally, I’m pretty sure this is one of the reasons why family members periodically ask me if I’m gay.
The second happen a few months ago; as I’m still very much in the closet about my cross dressing I only get to do it then I have my flat to myself. One evening when my flat mate went to work, and I though I was going to be on my own for a few hours I did what I normally do. I put on my girl clothes, which that night consisted of a pink bra (stuffed with tissue paper), a long white tank top, a long grey cardigan, a pair of burgundy leggings and boots. (I swear it looks nicer than it sounds.) I was laying in the living room reading The New York Trilogy, (which if you haven’t read I highly recommend!) when I hear the handle of the front door begin to open. (Turns out my flat mate finished work early) Luckily I had the door locked, because I’m pretty paranoid about getting caught. Any-who, as I’m sure anyone reading this will know, it is not very easy to run in heels, nevertheless I just made it to my bedroom and out of sight, before my flat mate entered the living room. Needless to say, I would have had a pretty hard time lying my way out of that one had he seen my particular ensemble.
As I am dressing as a girl more and more often now, there has been several other similar situations to that one. I won’t go into them, as they’re all pretty much the same story. Thought there was one time that if my flat mate hadn’t gone strait into the shower after coming home early from a camping trip, I would have had a pretty hard time explaining why I was wearing bright red nail polish.
So yeah, basically unless I start telling people soon or get a lot more careful, it’s pretty much a foregone conclusion that I’m going to get caught. And honestly, part of me is ok with that. Maybe I want to be outed?